When Mr. Germ Attacks and more

When Mr. Germ Attacks and more

Do to recent developments concerning a "New Flu Virus", some sound insight and preparation for the coming soon to a theater near you gloom and doom.

_____________________________________________________

From Fox news: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,517737,00.html

Mexico Links Sickness, Deaths to Swine Flu

The never-before-seen virus is comprised of bird, swine and human influenza strains, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Cordova says the flu is a “new, different strain that can attack anyone.” He says authorities are investigating whether it is related to an influenza strain reported in Texas and California.

U.S. public health officials said on Thursday that seven people had been diagnosed with a new kind of swine flu in California and Texas.

_______________________________________________

Dearest Blank Of unquestioned distinction and admired grace:

It appears just a tab bit suspicious that all of these variants would come together at such an inconvenient time in are evolutionary process as a species.

I would have to calculate and surmise the odds of such an historical and rare occurrence are about the same as the “New Kids on Block" boy band getting back together and producing a platinum album as equated by my mathematical calculations as it relates to nature, relativity, and likeliness.

Though it's a well established science and propaganda that virus's have the ability to mutate their little germ filled context into almost exact clones and identical copies of Groucho Marx and Paris Hilton if given the proper environmental factors and a creative marketing team with a substantial budget.

The speed and apparent abilities of this particular strain even boggles the mind of the most ardent Observers and protagonist.

Though I am not, and will never be a conspiracy theorist or certified whack job in professional standing. There are some evidential paths that take us to a very precarious and uncomfortable place of recognizance in this preposterous crisis of unimaginable conclusions and eventuality.

I personally have decided to leave no stone unturned in investigating this suspected happenstance, and am seeking advice and the treasured assistance from the mother-ship and my notorious but highly decorated friends the Penguins.

And Though I have undeniable faith in our duty bound and trust worthy elected governmental bodies to insure our safety and health in this mentioned ponderous mini crisis of disastrous abdication.

I have also decided to take some further precautions just in case this situation starts to manifest itself by spinning completely out of control and affecting my TV viewing habits. So as of this morning I have begun to take these following steps to insure that my genetic pool is not infested or tainted by outside influences of viral constipation and interpenetration.

1. I am now in transit to acquire enough plastic materials to create an artificially sterile environmental system in the image of a geodesic dome over my current abode; This will be done by collecting old discarded trash bags and other unused item, and by taking the said acquired materials and gluing them together with a Elmer's craft style sticky stick.

2. I have also placed a modest bid on EBay in an attempt to own the "Boy in the Bubble" set discards from an old Seinfeld Episode.

3. I have committed to drink nothing but 100% pure grain alcohol and filtered rain water from this day forward in the intent of not letting those Socialist Communist forces from contaminating my pristine and pure precious bodily fluids.

4. I have accumulated 14 cases of Hostess Twinkies and Flintstones gummy bear chewable Vitamins which both have a half shelf life of ten thousand years or more; as a well as a documented good source of 11 special herbs and spices which will enable me to sustain life support and function for many months to come.

5. I have also taken steps to curtail my social activities and outside human contacts to "standing on street corners ranting about the end of the world" and "wobbling through neighborhoods dancing to hits like " the Mary Poppins sound track” and "The Sound of Music" to no more than three days a week until further notice.

6. My internet usage will be also curtailed due to the many known viruses that tend to placate with grand verbosity in numerous popular blogs and social networks.

In closing, I would just like to wish each of you wellness and good health. If we are able to survive this small minor inconvenience to our way of life and planetary castration; I feel each of you out there will be made even stronger, more compassionate, and be better off for this experience.

You're always encouraging and thoughtful fan of this blog,

Stan

_______________________________________________________________________________

Enough said on this topic for now I gather?

As always your comments are welcome and will edited to my liking

Addendum: BREAKING GOOD NEWS: FDA approves new Flu Virus Strain for treatment of crouch rot, impotency, ADHD, Narcolepsy, Kidney stones, irretrievable bowel syndrome, and erectile dysfunction.

Update March 2010: Apparently this whole killer flu scare pandemic was just some brain storming creation trumped up by the pharmaceutical giants marketing executives and sales teams. So there is no longer anything to worry about until a new strain of killer flu can be developed in some secret dark dingy lab buried in the bowels of mother earth and big pharma. The only thing we have to worry about now is fear itself (and of course where in the heck all our billions upon billions of dollars went in this colossal hoax and scam)