Is this a Public Apology? Fakeintology, alien abduction, Foo Foo Spa's, Victimization the other lean meat, Sex, Drugs, and Corporate Espionage Part 3

Is this a Public Apology? Fakeintology, alien abduction, Foo Foo Spa's, Victimization the other lean meat, Sex, Drugs, and Corporate Espionage Part 3

A strange and bizarre chain of events has come to light in the past week or so which has made me realize I may be under the dooming influence of an evil alien “Xenu” warlord or lords of the “thetan” occupiers that may have indirectly visited our planet some 75 million years ago.

Let me clarify that this has nothing at all to do with or does it relate to the Mother ship and Penguins that are in contrary opinion connected to a completely separate species in the galactic trailer park constellational system. I was actually hoping they would help me out here: but they are busy brewing up a batch of homemade purple beer and making their final plans for the takeover of our planet Dec 21^st, 2012.

So either indirectly or directly or obtusely I would like to apologize to the following people or inanimate objects: to my second grade teacher for throwing up all over my desk during a math test (big messy clean up), to all my relatives that still believe we have some cosmic genetic connection (being dropped off and abandoned on this planet so long ago, I needed to leach off of someone to get by dag nab it), to the unquiet fraud for picking on you with such verbosity, to Big Pharma and Psychiatry since they are just trying to squeak by on a measly few billion a year, to the 2007 dodge ball world champions for those unkind references I made about them looking so damned silly dressed up in varied spandex versions of monkey suits, to farm animals everywhere that have been humiliated on the pages of my blog dressed up in all kinds of pretty twisted garb while being displayed in precarious situations, to the -------- Zoo that refused me admission after learning about my mental health history, , to all the little people (gravity challenged folks) for thinking about saying things that may be considered/construed as non politically correct and disparaging, to my ex-girlfriends I want to apologizes for each and every blissful moment of pure organic pleasure I bestowed upon each of you, to every blog I have every read and commented on, {why didn’t you moderate your comments idiots), did I mention I apologize to Daisy the Cow yet? and finally to my friends/enemies located on my esteemed side bar ( life isn’t fair, deal with it!!) OK, done with all that groveling stuff and time to move on to bigger and more frolic of cantankerous repercussions.

I just don’t know what has come over me to be quite dishonest? Here I was thinking some anonymous blog was using some questionable criteria in raising green stamp donations for an obviously dire situation; and then I was obnoxious and inquisitive enough to ask some pertinent and probative questions?

I was said to have been contacted directly and was given a chance through correspondence to clarify my remarks and make an apology publicly do to a preponderance of evidence presented to me? {Please make me laugh some more!}.

This was, is, and continues to be totally and completely untrue and a falsehood. I believe this was futile misdirect attempt to discredit my inquiries and the probative value of the aforementioned. Besides, anyone who knows me understands I would have posted that begging for an apology email attached with photos of said unidentified person in black leather garter belts dressed as a sheep! Baaah!

I was also accused of creating an alternate reality, thirteen subservient multi-dimensional underworlds; an attack oriented discrediting web site, and a partridge in a pear tree. These allegations are certifiably false and a slander upon my pristine and honest in your face character traits. In other words, I don’t hide behind made up sites to confront others {what the heck}? I say, Why not have some real fun and blast em right here on this bastion of nonsense blog with a nonstop barrage of my well known refuted humor and tact?

Little did I know this would be viewed as an indirect though indirectly direct indirect interpretation of my actions and the direct assault on an indirect target or someone’s loony tune character persona? From what I can surmise by their blatant and zealous rebuke I have received by numerous supporters of the aforementioned anonymous bloggery; they obvious got my college records/transcripts and were referring to my grade point average when they called me an A-Hole and various other accolades of flattering respect for my efforts here and about.

I just love little quips’: I mean D cups shouldn’t hang so low that their easy pickin’! Muooo Moo! Singing “Don’t that make your brown beady eyes blue!”? My face beaming across a milk carton never had it so damned good don’t you thunk! You know what they say, a little make up, some lip gloss, and you appear almost normal on YouTube videos! Ready to go to dinner now Hon! *whoops* Daisy the cow and Dairy farmers association of America need an apology for that last off the cuff remark.

I can’t tell you how much your ventricular intervention has moved me {time for a potty break already?}. In fact I moved all from the front door to where I am sitting now typing this alien and gizzard felt apology. I can’t say that this directly relates to my dog dying at 18 years old when I was a young lad, or those unnerving even and odd gas rationing days I spent waiting endlessly to just be turned away at the last moment. But what the frigging heck, I will indirectly thought directly blame them indirectly for those events even though I know they had nothing to do with them indirectly.

I would also like to take this time to thank all those other peeps that shall remain super top secret that expressed to me in private email or other telepathic means their personal assessment that was directly in line with mine by indirect means. Those tiny few hundred ardent supporters, this Bud’s for you {CHEERS}

I believe it’s time me for to just come out and say here; I am a Victim, Santa Claus, The tooth fairy, and the renowned Grinch on occasion! I must be getting worser and worser with each breath I take and can no longer continuing down this path of self destruction and loathing.

For years I futilely fell under the brutal influence of psychiatry and all those drugs which have left me wounded beyond all rational penguin comprehension. Then I cast this absurd modality aside like a bad broken down old used car, double knit polyester bell bottoms, and got what I believed at the time was new clean and pure outlook on this life experience. I now must admit here I have failed, do to those bastard “Xenu” alien bullies.

I have tried in earnest to keep my biometric and barometric neuron aerobic chemicals in check through countless ingenious manipulations of my neuropathic measurements related to a nasty Gut toxicity and ordained melancholy life style which in turn has polluted my precious bodily fluids beyond the point where total and complete recovery is possible or can be hoped for. Basically, I’m throwing in the towel and running home crying to Mommy!

Yet, all those nights dancing around in my pink tutu swinging from the chandeliers singing “I’m so pretty, so very pretty, the prettiest by far” has really just opened up old doors to the true underlying cause of my horrible Disease and demise.

To think I have indirectly through indirect channels directly by indirectly expressing opinions, have allowed others to internalize indirectly the obtuse direct assumptions of indirect reflection sublimely upon direct suffering of indirect means. So I guess directly some form of apology is in order; indirectly of course.

For now while I am seeking expert opinions and misdirection from well known journalist and authors I have decided to take the following actions.

First off I plan to SHUT DOWN THIS BLOG for a well deserved rest for exactly one hour starting one full hour ago. {WHOO HOO! I feel almost awake and alive now!}

Next, I plan to limit all my posting here on this blog to less than 100 hours per week I spend slaving and sweating over this keyboard trying to make each of your lives richer and in feeding my bottomless ego.

Because of the complete exhaustion I’m experiencing at this time. (I know I may appear ok, happy go lucky, and bouncing off the walls with energy; but this deep never ending suffering I feel torments me beyond all comprehension. So I choose to do homage in the quiet confines of a dark closet wrapped in duct tape, when I’m not so damned busy living life and writing here).

I would like to ask for some guest blogging support, and that some writers/authors would stumble or step forth in helping me keep this blog alive and active with meaningless content; while I’m away on vacation sucking down large amounts of alcohol! WHOOPS!!!! I mean when I’m away seeking redirection in my life through therapeutic means.

No more 8 shot Starbucks mega caffeine fixes three times a day for this bad puppy. Nope, no more than two mega jolts a day and a wet finger in a wall socket from now on.

Now if I don’t make around to your blog or am unable to respond to post/comments/or hate mail here; please be patient and understanding! I’m trying to do ten posts a day while not writing, and I have some pesky alien demons I’m dealing with at the moment. Just fill in the blanks in the comment section with indirect innuendo and I will get around to responding in due time if only fractiously. Thank you!

Now taking on the task of the world’s greatest living victim isn’t easy damn it; so please offer any suggestions you may have in fulfilling this evil alien prophecy blank chalk board. An acting coach could help? And so would a nice professional camera with lighting equipment and a horror movie makeup artist; for my upcoming You-Tube channel debut would also be a nice addition and much appreciated.

Now I plan to stay totally non-profit for now {though in the future I would like to purchase a domain and charge people to view my personal freak show with some outrageous fee per month}.

As far a fund raiser to send me to some “fancy FOO FOO coddle me spa” for a few months goes: I will rely on my loyal followers and minions to be creative in those endeavors. Please remember that I’m getting worser and worser by the moment people!

Just last week I filled out an entrance application for a mini marathon, and now today I feel so distraught and weakened I could hardly play full court basketball for more than three hours straight without a big drink of water and a cold brewski.

I know there are many of you out there in cyber land thinking to yourselves “He doesn’t appear as bad off as others”. Just stop that type of Blasphemy; I don’t give a flying quack quack about them. This is all about me dang it. Those that might question my motives or disagree with my absurd assumptions in any way, shape, or form will be banned from commenting here, and I promise I will not like you anymore either.

It’s definitely and affirmed that it’s my way or the HWY folks! {That’s my new Blog motto and creed from now on all my naive and humble followers of the Lite and less filling beer or my dietetics special organic poison Kool-Aid}

I called a “FOO FOO GOO GOO HOO HOO Rehab/Detox Spa” to see if they could run my plasmas materials through a neutron particle deployment analyzer to see if my Swing was not in harmonious bliss with my Swoo, which could in turn create a chemical imbalance in the Ying throwing my Yang into crazy robot orbit.

They quoted me quite a deal @ $19,550 dollars for the first month or until I declared bankruptcy after that on a weekly pro-rated basis. I asked if they would throw in a PET scam and MRI with special pixy dust die injected into the cerebellum to see if they could see those “Xenu” warlords running around inside my cerebral cortex; but they stated that was extra and not covered by my nonexistent health insurance coverage.

Can I never catch a break?

I’m thinking I could do a Pitch to CBS for “Psychiatric Survivor – the real deal” for next season; since that regular Survivor viewership has dropped off some since that Afghanistan debacle. I’m sure I could hood-wink enough hard cash for a few weeks in FOO FOO land anyhow.

Anywise I started to check into this “FOO FOO” Spa and found out they were directly indirectly connected to Fakeintology. So I was wondering deep within? Was this a front for Fakeintology or on the up and up and really a cult worth investing in?

The neighbors were indirectly complaining of strange air craft with bright colored lights beaming into their windows at night around this facility; and directly voted against it having a drivers permit or handicapped parking space within their jurisdiction. They even called in the state pest control people to examine indirectly if they were following proper interstellar protocols. The SF Crock-In-Bull Times confirmed this indirectly is recent news reporting and articles that could be true or not depending upon your personal level of delusional sensory hallucinations and that horoscope, mood ring, tea leaf, palm reading hocus pocus abracadabra of real hard unquestioned irrefutable science.

I honestly don’t know why anyone would want to hide that they were Fakeintologist or a front group for them? I mean if you believe earth worms our taking over our cities through a maze of underground tunnels and networks, then you would think you’d want everyone to know the truth and see the bright probing lights shining in their eyes.

I guess it’s all about making money and some nasty bad press they indirectly may have been receiving that is unconfirmed and not fact or speculation.

Please keep sending me that heartfelt hate mail, threats to kidnap my teddy bear and hold it for ransom, and kind thoughts reflecting about my unplanned afterlife wake: and I will keep praying for each of you locked up inside my suffering victimized closet of never-ending suffering and getting worser by the moment existence.

Now I believe it’s your turn and opportunity to apologize begging at my stinky unwashed toes saying “I’m SOREWEE! CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG”

Your support and comments are always welcome here; and will be edited according to unstated policy and my articulating puffed up mood at this or that particular moment which will indirectly in direct ways influence my always indirect blunt responses.

Added Disclaimer not shown upon side bar:

This post was in written in the spirit of satirical fun and was intended for entertainment purposes and to just about insult everyone reading it. If you feel you were personally singled out and maligned; please get over your paranoia and move on. If you happened to feel that you have been singled out by not receiving enough demeaning commentary indirectly directed toward you personally. Please go away and don’t come back you low life scum sucking slime ball and maggot of no consequence, importance, or value.