The Top Ten in poor taste postmortem Michael Jackson List:
1. Upon arrival at the morgue, unverified rumors have been circulated that after removing his sequin glove: they slipped on the infamous OJ “if it doesn’t fit, you must acquit” glove and it fit perfectly?????
2. When the doctors arrived at Michael J.’s bed side on the code; the first doctor turned to the other, and asked what shall we do? The lead Doctor responded by saying “Beat It, Beat it”.
3. Rumors are circulating that Michael was watching vintage “New Kids on the Block” and “Brady Bunch” reruns on “Nick at Night” when this Heart Attack occurred.
4. The coroner was about to begin an autopsy when a hidden zipper was found on Michael J’s Back. Upon further examination and unzipping it was determined the corpse was actually that of Elvis the King. When the coroner was asked how these revelations came about; he said he was “Just Thriller at the time”
5. An M.J. Tribute movie was planned in the near future until they realized it would just be another sequel to the “Mask” series.
6. Plans for a Tribute M.J. Pop up book titled “Slumber party with Michael” has been shelved to further notice with reasoning that it would be deemed in poor taste at this time.
7. What the difference between M.J. and King Tut? one was a mummy after death, and one before. NEWS FLASH: “Beatles” want their songs back now!
8. Due to a secret anonymous organ donor; a 78 old lady in Pakistan, Mississippi has a new nose today. She said it’s nice to have a nose again, since my hound dog bit the other one off. She was quoted as saying “she’d be danged happier if the thing didn’t keep falling off”.
8.5. Reports of Michael Jackson being seen at Never Land Ranch playing with his monkey have been denied by all reliable sources. Though there have been confirmed sightings of Peter Pan, Captain Hook, Puff the Magic Dragon, and UFO’s.
9. There is now confirmed evidence that has not or will ever be released by the NSA and CIA to deny, refute, or substantiate that M.J was an acting body double for North Korean leader Kim Jong Il in a vain attempt to pay down his Wall-Mart Credit card debt. The report does not state whether Kim Jong II received dance lessons or learned to Moon Walk as part of any employment agreement.
10. The National security nuclear umbrella and early warning system has been suspended until further notice, to make room and create more band width for Michael Jackson postulating and opining on all networks. Twitter and Face Book has also suspended all updates and maintenance work until ABC it’s easy as 123.
Please feel free to add your own in poor taste and mourning
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4 comments:
i'm thrilled i don't have to beat it to the front of the line to purchase the last pair of white gloves at walmart, hell that billie jean cuts in front of me every time.
Hi Stan, Stephany actually let me know about your lists. This one might be the first Top Ten written after MJ's death. I also I read your Top Ten Reasons Why Men Don't Need Viagra and it was excellent. You can post your lists to our site http://www.toptentopten.com/ and link back to your site. We are trying to create a directory for top ten lists where people can find your site. The coolest feature is you can let other people vote on the rankings of your list.
Wonder what will happen to Ben now?
Dearest Noe Noe:
You are so kind and compassionate to think of poor Ben in this monumental time of never ending press releases, tributes, and sorrow.
Speaking quite candidly for myself: I am also deeply concerned about the psychological effects isolation and non-use will have on that undisclosed sock puppet collection.
Maybe they will go up for auction on EBay as treasured memorabilia, where they will find a good loving home, and be sequin glove stuffed once more.
It's a warm thought and wish to say the least anywise.
Stan
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