4th of July Stan-A-Palooza Strange Story Contest

4th of July Stan-A-Palooza Strange Story Contest

I NEED YOUR HELP!

The following stories just happen to catch my attention. Yet, I am having a hard time figuring out which one is actually the most bizarre - humorous - in a sick-N-twisted Trailer Park sort of way.

So in the spirit of fun and levity, I have decided in the form of a contest I would like the three valued regular readers,or someone else that just happened upon this site/blog while out surfing the web for kinky porn or other debauchery related informative materials to respond here in the comment section with their pick.

I would like to know why you feel your selection is the best and weirdest. The winning selection will grace the front page of this blog in honor of your good taste and contributions to humanity.


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http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,529935,00.html?test=latestnews

Two Mexican Midget Wrestlers Killed by Fake Prostitutes

Now to be honest, this is not what you would expect as a great night on the town. You really have to wonder what anti- psychotic medication was used and at what dose in this crime.

Friday, July 03, 2009 MEXICO CITY — Mexican authorities say two professional wrestlers found dead in a low-rent hotel in the capital may have been drugged to death by female robbers.

Autopsies are being performed on the two midget wrestlers, one of whom went by the name "La Parkita" — or "Little Death" — and wore a skeleton costume in the ring. The other was known as "Espectrito Jr."

Authorities say two women were seen leaving the men's hotel room before the bodies were discovered.

Prosecutor Miguel Angel Mancera said Wednesday that gangs of female robbers are experienced at using drugs to knock men out and rob them, but they may have used too strong a dose.

That may have been because of the wrestlers' small stature, although larger men have also died in similar crimes.

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Yes the miracles of science never cease! Does this guys get an eye-ache or tooth-ache?, Can you really get a sweet eye craving? Does he use eye drops or tooth paste?

If he has a problem, does he see a dentist or optometrist? If he has an accident and his eye was poked out; would the tooth fairy step in and leave something under the pillow anywise?

These and many more questions come to my mind as I read this.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,529946,00.html?test=latestnews

U.K. Blind Man Sees Wife for First Time After Having Tooth Implanted in Eye

Friday, July 03, 2009

Martin Jones is now able to see his wife for the first time - after having a tooth implanted into his eye.

The formerly blind man, from South Yorkshire, Great Britain, had one of his front teeth removed and turned into a lens holder that was then inserted in his right eye.

When Jones married his wife Gill four years ago, he had been blinded by a tub of molten aluminium which had exploded in his face 12 years ago.

"I met my wife when I was blind and when I found out there was a chance I would get my sight back the first person I wanted to see was her," Jones told the Daily Mail.

"The doctors took the bandages off and it was like looking through water and then I saw this figure and it was her. It was unbelievable," Jones told the paper.

The accident during which Martin was blinded happened while he was working in a scrapyard in 1997.

He suffered 37 per cent burns and had his left eye removed after it was destroyed in the accident.

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http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,529983,00.html?test=latestnews

I also had this same thing happen to me confidently speaking; but there was half a ton of dirt and lots of squirming worms shoveled over me before I woke up! Talk about waking up on the wrong side of the bed!

'Dead' Israeli Man Comes Back to Life, Shocking Police

Friday, July 03,2009

An 84-year-old Israeli man who had been pronounced dead by paramedics shocked emergency personnel and police officers Wednesday when he came back to life.

An ambulance crew was responding to a distress call when they found the man in his Ramat Gan home apparently not breathing, according to Haaretz.com.

The crew, unable to resuscitate the man or find his pulse, called for a coroner and doctor who declared him dead and signed a death certificate, Haaretz.com reported.

But as investigators began searching the man's apartment for evidence that might indicate his cause of death, one officer noted, "the corpse is moving his hand," the Web site reported.

The man, who regained consciousness, was then hooked up to a respirator and sent to Sheba Medical Center.

There was no indication of his condition.

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What a strange and wild concept! healthy junk food. I guess you could say the eyes have it here, or pass the chips and effin dip please.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/54916?utm_source=a-section

Frito-Lay Angrily Introduces Line Of Healthy Snacks

PLANO, TX—With the recent trend of wholesome snack foods reaching "truly ridiculous proportions," Frito-Lay announced Monday that it would, against its better judgment, roll out a new line of healthy fruit-and-vegetable-based chips next February.

"Here," said Frito-Lay CEO Al Carey as he disgustedly tossed a bag of the company's new Flat Earth-brand snack crisps onto the lectern during a meeting with shareholders and members of the press. "Here's some shit that's made from beets. I hope you're all happy now that you have your precious beet chips with the recommended daily serving of fruit, or vegetables, or whatever the hell a 'beet' is."

"Mmm, dehydrated bulb things," Carey added. "Sounds delicious."

Carey appeared visibly appalled as Frito-Lay employees distributed Flat Earth snack samples to the audience.

"God help us all, would you look at these flavors," said Carey, gesturing toward a display showcasing the several varieties of Flat Earth chips, including Kauliflower Krunch, Raisins 'N Chives, Cranberry Spinach Explosion, Rutabaga Yum, Tofu Snaps, Eggplant Ecstasy, Broccoloroos, and Watercress. "Look at what you've reduced us to."

Frito-Lay delivery people drop off a "bunch of bullshit to some pricks somewhere."

"Weren't Sun Chips healthy enough for you, you goddamn hippie bastards?" Carey added.

Frito-Lay spokeswoman Lisa Greeley, who said that the company made a commitment in 2004 to develop a healthier line of snacks but "never thought it would actually come to this," described the Flat Earth brand as "tailor-made for the small, vocal minority of health-conscious consumers who apparently can't just be content with salads, bananas, apples, or any of the literally thousands of fruits and vegetables already widely available."

"Our new veggie snacks combine the zesty tang of parsnip, the most mouthwatering root vegetable out there, with the bold flavor of, let's say, jute?" said Greeley before reluctantly bringing a Turnips 'N Radish chip to her mouth and forcing down a full bite. "It's a brand-new taste sensation unlike anything you've ever experienced, unless you've ever eaten sisal twine.

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And finally in the entertaining story department; a decent burger that will blow your mind and whatever else you happen to be craving at the time. I don't even want to ask what kind of meat is in that thing? Makes me CRINGE! On a positive note, it comes now in a 4 inch, 7 inch, and Whopper 9 inch version.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,529576,00.html

Critics Cringe at Ad for Burger King's Latest Sandwich

An advertisement for Burger King's latest sandwich leaves little to the imagination and should be discontinued due to "distasteful" and unappetizing references to oral sex, advertising experts told FOXNews.com. The print ad for the "BK Super Seven Incher" — a limited time promotion in Singapore, a society known around the world for its strict government controls of social conduct — shows the "mind-blowing" sandwich near the open mouth of a wide-eyed, red-lipsticked woman accompanied by the suggestive tagline: "It'll blow your mind away." "Fill your desire for something long, juicy and flame-grilled," the ad continues.

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OK, now it's your turn to get down, dirty, and busy. Write away until your hearts content, and win acclaim beyond your wildest imagination.